April's Expressions

Grandma, you were a sun in my world a loving radiance shining on a little girl. You nurtured and nourished me in wonderful ways, you taught me of adventure, curiosity, and play. When life became dark you illuminated my night, you loved me, you pushed me, and fought for what was right. You showed me what will and determination can do, and to myself you taught me to always be true. There are so many memories flowing into my heart, it pains me to know that for now we must part. But the seeds that you planted deep inside of me, have helped me to blossom into a mighty oak tree. ( Cora Lee Greenburg September 21, 1935 - November 25, 2017 ) by April Bender Audio - Sleeping at Last: Saturn

Lilting tones and rainbow hues Dance across a quiet room. Curtains sway, kissed by the wind, Carrying expressions of a gentle afternoon. Its breath is ripe, fragrantly sweet, From wildflower blooms nearby. Earthen woods frame the view, While birds sail high in the sky. The air, it hums, teeming with life, Of a wild and subtle kind. As the sun's rays beckon eyes to close, I exhale a contented s i g h. by April Bender Mood Audio: Relaxing Celtic Music

Scattered fragments now magnetized Surface in interior rooms. Clumsily they coalesce, These orphans that Spirit exhumed.   I would have preferred they remain dead, These vagabonds of perplexity. They wreak only havoc inside of me Both emotionally and mentally.   They simply don’t fit any of my frames, Neither in belief or memory. And yet I know that I must integrate them If I wish ascendancy.   What is it then that you provide, Oh outliers of the deep? Since Spirit has resurrected you, There is a purpose for you indeed.   Come let me examine you And reveal the mystery to behold. I know you have a story to tell That hasn’t yet been told.   So let us uncover your wisdom, Even if it hurts to look. And perhaps if we uncover enough, We can restore what ego took. by April Bender Mood Audio: Chasing Dreams - Depar

No longer will I serve to be, the sacrificial lamb your ego needs. No longer will you project on me, your perceived failings and misery. No longer will I carry the guilt, for the house of choices that YOU built. No longer will you weigh me down, with the wearing of our family crown. No longer will I mourn the loss, tally the scorecard, or count the cost. No longer will you drain my light, as you must face your own dark night. And no longer will I seek your love, because I have all I need from heaven above. by April Bender  Mood audio: Imagine Dragons - Believe (This poem was written as an expression of inner releasing and clearing around issues of multi-generational childhood trauma and abuse. These are meant to be declarations to Self in the main as a form of release and empowerment, not a reflection of my love and compassion for family members.)

 An ancient wall comes crumbling down, ivy snaps...cascades to the ground. The protected garden behind the wall, grew an idea of love too small. It could not sustain our love within, it was time to reflect...to start over again. So I took a deep breath and let in the light, that destroyed the wall and expanded my sight. Within that new field I planted to grow, a deeper understanding of our love to know. And just today, not a moment too soon, I spied our first flower, a Daffodil bloom. by April Bender Mood audio: Most Wonderful Music - Between Worlds Synchronicity: Daffodils are symbolic of spring - of birth and new beginnings.

 Peace. . . Flow. . . Silent hum. . . Suspended in a watery womb  Cooling. . .  Soothing. . .  Serene lullaby. . .  Sinking down into Wisdom’s pool Reflecting. . . Deflecting. . . Re-remembering. . . Conscious and sub-conscious collide Reaching. . . Seeking. . . New patterning. . . Weaving higher impulses inside Elevation. . . Color. . . Vibrant awareness. . . Crest as new landscapes within Elation. . . Sensation. . . Quickening rebirth. . . Out of the depths I rise  by April Bender Mood audio: Mattia Cupelli - Waves                                                                

Caress me soft, caress me true, Oh essence of Light in shimmering hues. Show me your secrets, come let us play, Together we'll dance, letting cares melt away. Penetrate all . . .cell, blood, and spirit, Imbuing, activiting, expanding my limits. Teach me of beauty and things not yet seen, Illuminate the mind, revitalize my being. Warm Mother Earth so green shoots grow, Allowing blossoms to bloom, and life to flow. And as you beam cosmic codes to the ground, May we seek out their soft tinkling sound. by April Bender Mood Audio: Most Emotional Music Ever: Awakening